The news about Martin Fagan this week was at first glance another story of elite runners with more money than sense showing utter disrespect for their fellow competitors in a pursuit for glory (more cash). Yet reading a little more into his situation, if we believe it, revealed a side to athletics that we rarely see and one for which there is little support. I think taking drugs to aid performance and deprive others of what they deserve is deplorable. This seems even worse in a tight knit distance community where friendships and camaraderie grow over time. I’ve never experienced the anger of being deprived of a major athletic achievement due to the action of an athlete who’s decided to take illegal shortcuts to get what he wants, and if it was also the action of someone I regarded as a friend, this would be a doubly bitter pill to swallow.
However, Martin Fagan’s case seems a little different to me. He claims that he had lost sponsorship, was riddled with debt and having to gamble on making an Olympics just to make ends meet and ‘survive’. This led to depression and even contemplation of suicide. He was forced to lie to his coach and race directors about his fitness while he was carrying serious injuries just to get into races to receive appearance fees, and then he thought about taking drugs. He claims he only took EPO once and then got tested the next day, and never competed under its effects. This may be a lie but in my eyes it’s not important. What is important is what drove him to contemplate the taking of drugs and how there must be others in his situation. His undeniable running talent was his curse. He wasn’t a world beater but he was an Olympian and many would give anything for his talent. I am one of them. But I’m extremely lucky that if running doesn’t go well for me or I get an injury, then I’ll be ok. I have a good job and running has always been an enjoyable distraction outside of this. However much I may envy those that don’t have to run and work, I would never ever want to be in situation where I was relying on running to live. Sure, I may find myself able to give up work (theoretically, I know I’m nowhere near that good right now!) but that would be a choice and if that situation no longer became viable, I’d go back to work. I’m sure many of you will say that Martin should have just got a job and got on with it. True, he should have. But that would have compromised his chance of making the Olympics and ’everything would be ok’ if he’d made the Olympics. Couple this with obvious mental turmoil, depression and a compulsion to get the very best out of himself and rational decisions like this don’t seem so easy.
I don’t know Martin and what was going through his head. I only have the article I read to go on. Sure, it may be bullshit, but I’m choosing to believe it’s true. What I began to realise was how glad I was that I ran because I wanted to and because I enjoyed it. If someone took all I had away and said I would only get it back if I made the Olympics then this enjoyment would be gone. I realise this is not the case with Fagan, but I think that’s almost how he saw it in his mind. His words about the relief of being caught for drugs and not having to run anymore spoke volumes. We’ve all been in a situation where we wanted to quit, but couldn’t actually do it, and carried on regardless, hoping someone would take that responsibility away from ourselves. This is what being caught EPO has done for Fagan.
Whatever your views on the credibility of his story, or the choices he made; when you go for a run today, be thankful its because you want to, not because you have to.




